Laughter and Tears

Dbm and I were yakking the other night, discussing laughter - and he made the statement that humans were wired to need laughter / humour - just like love, food, and other things.

Couldn't agree more.

Out for a daytrip to Calgary yesterday to say goodbye to Colin. Pulled up to the church 45 minutes before the service, and hit the holding area just inside. There were a string of experiences that just grabbed me by the throat and pulled me into abject sadness...the end of a life at 37 - absolutely surreal, still expecting him to come walk in at any moment...his family, orphaned without him, his wife, his boys. And some of the little things as well. Table by the entrance to the church that had a some pictures of Colin, and his boat keys. Zoom in on:

Boat Keys

Insignifigant physical item to anybody who didn't know Colin; something that could have seemed cleft from Colin's heart for anybody who did know him.

Grief was everywhere; overflowing church; so many tears and embraces, just the saddest of saddest of sad. Tangible, choking grief.

Followed by laughter.

If we could have graphed the experience, it would have shown a descent into unimaginable pain, followed by relief of some sort. Nothing changed during the service; Colin didn't come bounding up in a Huck Finn-ish fashion and surprise us with his well being. Nope, it was more of having made it through one more thing around this tragic loss. And a significant thing. Sifb and her boys have years ahead of their 'new normal' where they are going to have to grieve, recover, and grieve some more. But they made it through the viewing two days ago, and they made it through the public goodbye yesterday. We all did. And when we did, it was time to laugh a little bit.

We headed back to her place and partied in Colin's workshop, and it wasn't as much about mourning as just being together, laughing, starting to heal.

It'll take a long time for them, and in some ways you never really get over somebody's death - especially at that horrifically young age.

But they made it through the tears, into the laughter, and each time the cycle repeats it will get a little easier.

Peace Colin. Peace Sifb.

Peace.