Monday, March 2, 2009

The Want's Needs

Different, this time.

I had grown to the size of the mountains, crouched down with river systems tickling the bottom of my feet and was generally in a pretty good mood, apart from the yearning.

Yearning is distance - from this to that. Distance implies difference - between this and that. Distance and difference can both be reduced into a a-spiritual roux, that when ingested and eliminated can focus on what IS. And on some level of course, this was the root of roots.

On another level, I just wanted to get high. Really high.

Flipped the switch from rational to the space between not-rational and rational, a desert zone whose bereftness was perfectly suited to these times; when the animal yearning howled like a wolf, piercing the ear drums and bringing a razor sharp focus to the Want.

Knees poppped as I pressed myself up to standing and breathed deep.

Doh! It was in my best interest to remain somewhat aware of my surroundings - which could still be done in the desert zone. As long as it didn't get too personal or introspective. Case in point...I spit out what I thought were a couple of mite-sized no-seems or the like, and watched as their grey and white carcasses spun down through the sun into the woods and water below. Not big on taking life where I could avoid it (and given my size, there was clearly a lot that was NOT avoidable), clearly I had failed the grade here. One of the gnats piqued my attention just before it went down my village sized gullet - a distinct salty flavour. THIS made me look at another one which I had smacked on my forehead, and ... well long story short, seagulls were the mites paying the ultimate price for my absentmindedness.

Swore to myself I would be more careful for the rest of the morning, but that was before I saw the inlet.

My vision was a sharp as my size was enlogated, and as I took two thunderous steps (which skewed geological data right down into Washington state where several plateless tremors were registered and puzzled over), I was hooked.

The want was there before me in sharded beauty. Sun had bested the clouds and was illuminating the water east to west, and the carpetted universe of life running through it took my breath away. The bigger creatures - only a couple here this morning - killer whales out for a foray - stood out, but the rest just formed a massive, seething underwater community - a net of life that could never be captured, or even cognized, but could be recognized and breathed and, well, I thought, smoked.

Four steps down to where the inlet narrowed, and I was ready to begin on the Want's needs. Clouds had come over the sun a bit, and I lost a bit of depth perspective (literally). Easily rectified - I reached up and plucked the sun between my first finger and thumb and brought it close to the surface of the water which allowed me to see EVERYTHING. The closest I can come to describing it would be a massive kelp farm, which, as one got closer, decomposed into things that just made up the green pattern, which, as one got closer, turned out not to be as much green as things that made up the things which made up the pattern which was interpreted as green.

I flicked the sun into a long arc back up onto it's perch, cracked my knuckles, and started to roll the inlet up into the largest fatty unimaginable. Brought it to my lips and inhaled and then

The desert flooded, the Want was sated, but the Want and the desert and all the gaps between this and that were flooded with life, but beyond life,

Everything, was flooded by

Everything

And I looked down and saw myself become a reverse tsumani, body becoming self becoming water; me becoming everything flooding everything, into and of the wild as

swoosh

one.

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