Complex Simple Words and Truths

The thought came as I got out of the tub

"Just be yourself".

And not in a lite pop pyschology affectation but a full frontal assault of truth; soft and swift; cotton sword.

Then

"Be"

Then

"Remember, be"

And then "Remember, Be Here Now".

The seed for these was reading Wilber again; the light and ferocity of intellect, the truth that shines through realization.

Yet another pointer, his writings in One Taste. A summary of everything; all levels of my being; the dreams or visions I've had; the experiences

Kid: touching the mind or subtle; realizing I could actually inhabit the imaginary spaces; replaying a Zoom TV show in my head with clarity and brilliance

Growing up - into and out of born againism; I've developed out of that traditional mode, but there were moments of truth there; heart to heart presence with a personal god; some taste of surrender and purity of spirit in other friends from the time

Growing up - The fire of love; consuming my emotional center; alight with universal possibilities; purity and innocence; then dashed against love's reef; each point of ego in me an emotional spirit snagging me to the reef so I would remain there then be pulled as well, ripping tearing, suffering, refining

Growing up - Sitting in John's office, looking out from behind the eyes; unbeckoned witness. He noticed when it happened - not necessarily its specifics, but that something signifigant had happend

TM when I first started it got to a point where I could sit down from normal activities and within a few moments be there, in the Space

TM - getting to a place where body all but disappears; nothing much beside the breathing, a bit of head and the mantra, and sometimes, even less

The dreams - at least twice - the terrifying cloud or stormish cloud / hurrican spiral in the ceiling; an absolutely terrifying force that had something more as well - being pulled up into it and ... just out of reach - (good) spiritlual consumption?

The dream - me looking at myself. Goatee-d jerry, shir off, heavy, a bit flabby, cold and fleshy, tatoo showing; I was dead; I was rolling over a dead me

The awakenings - Big mind - tasting; being big mind big heart

Non dual awakenings - many times just simple clear non dual perceptions walking to work to be forgotten until I walked to work to be forgotten

Having no head - reading Douglas Hardings book and before reading the experiment, having an idea that it was stepping outside of me, taking the perspective of awareness behind a hand pointing at me. I didn't have it exactly. And yet I did. And then having those clean no boundary perceptions, looking out from space to space. even now, hands extending from nothingness to the keyboard

Non dual writing - Greg Goode - localizing where "i" exist - and is that a marble shaped piece of conciousness behind my eyes Jerry? And if it is, if I am aware of it, "i" must be separate from it. Awareness 'contains' me, not the other way around. The same with everybody else. We're all this non-local awareness, peeking out through billlions of differnt bodies.

Music - emotional satori - the ability to lose myself - no time, just pure creative spirit thorugh the voice and fingers and word and music and harmony

All of these strands, braided together and burned in the fire of One Taste to become a single thread of awareness which itself, too, is just a manifestation of that which was never born.

I am.

Thanks John, Greg, Paramahansa Yoganada, Swami Sri Yuktewar, Lahiri Mahaysa, Babaji, Neem Karoli Baba, Ram Dass, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Douglas Harding, Ken Wilber.

Thanks, Love

Namaste