Muscle Memory

Blood sugar dropped like a bomb yesterday; blazed out the first 5 kms in 24 minutes, and then it hit:

Hint from the back of the mind that something was amiss, a twinge in the right leg fed back into the loop and then some more urgency.

Tried dropping the bottom out of my breath, but this just opened the gates to the white-gray sheet of weakness, radiating from the center up towards the chest, then dissipating and blanketing the shoulders arms and fingers at the same time.

Ghost had arrived and checked in; now in the driver seat, he slowed the system to a walk, and propogated.

Walk-run now, watching the banked time rubber band out of my control: Breathed so much fire in and out to tired muscles to gain those ten seconds in the bank; and now watch helplessly as they are wrested away from me.

Walk-run-run now, trying to de-contract from the little me that is holding onto this experience and being strangled by it.

Walk-run-run-run now, and my muscles are splayed out in arcs from my body and rooting themselves in the seawall to both sides

Run Run Run and I am running through the arcs with more being created behind and ahead of me

And dropping like a fine mist from each of these muscles arcs are the memories that sparked the arcs

And I'm in the space between the footsteps now, and back; and in the space, and back, and the continuity is the memories that I'm running through

Cigarette smoke and Barardi and guitars and helplessness and love and purpose, telos and pathos, and now

It's one big sheet

non-local running on the seawall

condundrum eating its own tail

and depositing me at the crosswalk from where i started, and where I will be pieced together...at least until the next run.

hsah!