Friday, July 31, 2009
There is musicianship, then there is artistry, then there's something that includes and transcends both. http://ping.fm/oklti
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thirsting for Shadows
Heat waves from this body are still pulsing off like a fever dream. And THIS after 5 minutes in a shower cool enough to sharpen the breath and tense the interior like a giant subtle-body boa.
The Running Bundle Best Forgotten (or minimally labelled with a HAZMAT sticker before it is deloused) is carefully tucked into the workout bag, and it's back to the cubicle to continue the cool down over a Dell and Problem Statements and Gantt Charts and migration schedules.
Hottest run ever today - 34 degrees; 7 km from the office to James Cunningham's masterwork to the 9:00 o'clock Gun and back.
Walked out of the air conditioned lobby into a wall of Hot.
Within two minutes the sweat started and with it the realization that this was the easy part - the warm up; a much shadow-dappled sidewalk for the first 5 minutes and then
Sun.
Lots of it.
Shirt came off, hat stayed on, and I danced between headless observer - just space, with a couple of sensation points bobbing into and out of awareness - and running guy; shadechaser; small 's' self - identifications gelling and melting around me in a perfect, unpredictable pattern.
Life's trinity - expansion, contraction, both-and-neither - danced and teased like a ribbon in the wind; and as the run wore me down, it all got very primal ~
Sun-cement
Shade-relief
Sun-cement
Shade-relief
And I realized that it is possible to physically thirst for shadow; for shade; to drink it through every pore; wrap it around the translucent spirit-reductio and revel in its dark majesty before the next furnaced patch is traversed.
As always, the run provided; shade when it became too much; furnaced-brilliance when I could handle it; pleasured-suffering that wore me down and refined what was left like a rough diamond.
Finally, the cold arms of the lobby embracing me like a chastened lover.
I stopped, breathed deep, then caught Otis to the 24th floor where I could see my running path baking in the mid afternoon sun.
namaste
The Running Bundle Best Forgotten (or minimally labelled with a HAZMAT sticker before it is deloused) is carefully tucked into the workout bag, and it's back to the cubicle to continue the cool down over a Dell and Problem Statements and Gantt Charts and migration schedules.
Hottest run ever today - 34 degrees; 7 km from the office to James Cunningham's masterwork to the 9:00 o'clock Gun and back.
Walked out of the air conditioned lobby into a wall of Hot.
Within two minutes the sweat started and with it the realization that this was the easy part - the warm up; a much shadow-dappled sidewalk for the first 5 minutes and then
Sun.
Lots of it.
Shirt came off, hat stayed on, and I danced between headless observer - just space, with a couple of sensation points bobbing into and out of awareness - and running guy; shadechaser; small 's' self - identifications gelling and melting around me in a perfect, unpredictable pattern.
Life's trinity - expansion, contraction, both-and-neither - danced and teased like a ribbon in the wind; and as the run wore me down, it all got very primal ~
Sun-cement
Shade-relief
Sun-cement
Shade-relief
And I realized that it is possible to physically thirst for shadow; for shade; to drink it through every pore; wrap it around the translucent spirit-reductio and revel in its dark majesty before the next furnaced patch is traversed.
As always, the run provided; shade when it became too much; furnaced-brilliance when I could handle it; pleasured-suffering that wore me down and refined what was left like a rough diamond.
Finally, the cold arms of the lobby embracing me like a chastened lover.
I stopped, breathed deep, then caught Otis to the 24th floor where I could see my running path baking in the mid afternoon sun.
namaste
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
My Trinity
Appear to be contraction, expansion, or the place where both meet - end; start; collapse into each other. Headlessness; void; suchness; isness.
And with this trinity, all is formed.
It all gets so confusing, but the simplicity is alway there, supporting it all.
Confusing how, shadechaser?
Start with the name, which, if I haven't explained it before, is borne of running, not (at least obviously) from some metaphysical darkness chasing. Literally out, running hot (with shoes on at that point - 7 or ten years ago, down Bryne road, dancing from tree to tree, melting in the sunlight, rejoicing in the periods of cool redemption under the trees.
During those runs - all runs - the metaphysician pokes out and has a jaunt around. Sometimes ists just a quick look, sometimes its just watching, sometimes its conducting most of the business of the day. The metapyysician is the Gemini here, expanding boundaries, or contracting them. Freeing and tying; but even the tying is a part of a greater dialectic cycle that propels me forward.
Also, during those runs, especially the longer ones, there are periods of suchness; lids half closed, running for 2 or 3 hours around a track in the wee hours; vision converging on just the line of the track. Just being.
And then, contraction again as I start wanting and desiring and thinking and
the run ends
and there is a physical period of grace; relief at the exertion, satisfaction at the accomplishment, joy at the difference between pre and post run.
So the run delivers suchness, through the mating of expansion and contraction (which is what, on a kinesiological level, the run was through and through afer all).
And the suchness might hang out for the ride back from the track back home. Might even stay for the walk up the stairs. But as soon as I encounter people, the contraction is back.
It's a tight contraction these days, felt in the shoulders as constant anxiety. See saws with the other end of the spectrum, where the dark things lay wait to taint my emotions and number-5 dye my environment - including my optic center - so I am seeing BLUE through all the BLUE that is polluting everything.
Douglas Harding, bless his soul, is giving some relief these days. Turning my attention round 180 degrees and revisiting the vastness, the openess of what I am truly helps.
Also, the groundwork that 10 years of Gestalt nose to the grindstone, which has made me realize that at core, I'm ok.
Just the see-saw tension.
You know, the contraction, that can point to expansion, that can lead to suchness.
My trinity.
Interesting cross to bear.
And with this trinity, all is formed.
It all gets so confusing, but the simplicity is alway there, supporting it all.
Confusing how, shadechaser?
Start with the name, which, if I haven't explained it before, is borne of running, not (at least obviously) from some metaphysical darkness chasing. Literally out, running hot (with shoes on at that point - 7 or ten years ago, down Bryne road, dancing from tree to tree, melting in the sunlight, rejoicing in the periods of cool redemption under the trees.
During those runs - all runs - the metaphysician pokes out and has a jaunt around. Sometimes ists just a quick look, sometimes its just watching, sometimes its conducting most of the business of the day. The metapyysician is the Gemini here, expanding boundaries, or contracting them. Freeing and tying; but even the tying is a part of a greater dialectic cycle that propels me forward.
Also, during those runs, especially the longer ones, there are periods of suchness; lids half closed, running for 2 or 3 hours around a track in the wee hours; vision converging on just the line of the track. Just being.
And then, contraction again as I start wanting and desiring and thinking and
the run ends
and there is a physical period of grace; relief at the exertion, satisfaction at the accomplishment, joy at the difference between pre and post run.
So the run delivers suchness, through the mating of expansion and contraction (which is what, on a kinesiological level, the run was through and through afer all).
And the suchness might hang out for the ride back from the track back home. Might even stay for the walk up the stairs. But as soon as I encounter people, the contraction is back.
It's a tight contraction these days, felt in the shoulders as constant anxiety. See saws with the other end of the spectrum, where the dark things lay wait to taint my emotions and number-5 dye my environment - including my optic center - so I am seeing BLUE through all the BLUE that is polluting everything.
Douglas Harding, bless his soul, is giving some relief these days. Turning my attention round 180 degrees and revisiting the vastness, the openess of what I am truly helps.
Also, the groundwork that 10 years of Gestalt nose to the grindstone, which has made me realize that at core, I'm ok.
Just the see-saw tension.
You know, the contraction, that can point to expansion, that can lead to suchness.
My trinity.
Interesting cross to bear.
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